


Buttons

by himitsutsubasa



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Kingsman: The Secret Service RPF, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Age Difference, Gen, Grief, Grindr, M/M, Meta, Sex, Songfic, Video, villian!eggsy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-15 15:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 4,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3451550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himitsutsubasa/pseuds/himitsutsubasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of my inability to not fill on tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Permission

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many regrets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> photonromance:  
> "You ask my permission before you sit down."  
> Gimmie.  
> Gimmie Eggsy asking permission to touch things in Harry’s house. To touch him. Needing permission to sit on the bed and undress.  
> Gimmie Eggsy with his stomach all in knots until Harry gives him permissions. Gives him praise and affirmation and tells him just what a good boy he is.

The second time, his fingers brush over the cover of the chair and he holds his breath. Harry isn’t there to tell him he can’t sit down in the chair.

But, he can’t bring himself to do it anyway.

He sleeps on the floor in Harry’s study. His cheek pillowed on a cushion he snags from the bedroom, one that still smells of Harry and sweet cologne. 

The next day, he goes to work. Roxy is Lancelot, Eggsy is Galahad, and Harry Hart is alive.

The bastard.

==

Harry orders Eggsy around because it is his job. He is the king and Eggsy is a knight.

That doesn’t stop him from adding a little steel to his voice, telling Eggsy to straighten his tie, to stand up a little straighter, to fetch some coffee, to stop moping around the office like someone had actually shot JB. Well, no, if someone had shot JB, Eggsy would have murdered them in a violent rage and then sulked. 

Eggsy generally looks a little pinched, before complying.

Harry learns that that expression flies out the window at 100 kmph when a compliment follows the action. 

"Good boy."

"You did well today."

"Very nice."

"Lovely work."

Stop looking at me like that, Eggsy. i would say more but everyone already thinks I favor you too much. 

It’s not until Merlin has most of the new recruits tied up (Gwaine is out on a mission so Tristan, Lancelot, and Galahad are subjected) to test the strength of his new carbon-silk rope that Harry sees a little more.

Eggsy’s skin stands a little pink where the rope draws a little too tight agianst his skin and unlike the others, who shrink, not visibly, from the rope’s touch, he leans into the red.

It’s beautiful. His boy is so good, standing so still. He can’t wait to tell him that later, to see the little flush that Eggsy hasn’t learned to hide yet. 

Harry pauses.

Oh.

=

The third time, Eggsy doesn’t touch anything. Not out of respect, but out of the fact that Harry is standing right there and if he so much as breathes on the goddamned couch he is probably going to have bruises in places he didn’t think could bruise. (He spars with Roxy. There are very few left.)

Harry sits down first and Eggsy barely refrains from raising a brow. 

"Come here."

Eggsy walks over and stands about a half meter away. 

"Closer, on your knees."

Eggsy drops to them, wondering a little, but walks forward anyway.

A warm hand wraps around his jaw and fingers stroke the skin on his cheekbone. The fingers travel to his hair, carding through it, mussing it.

"Good boy."

Eggsy shivers and Harry breaks into a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ hello](http://himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com/post/112296587392/photonromance-you-ask-my-permission-before-you)


	2. Harry/Gary's Gary on Taron/Colin ft. Morgan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “can taron egerton stop fangirling over colin firth it’s really not helping”  
> — NO

It’s stupid. Eggsy thinks. It’s really fucking stupid.

"Are they shagging or not?"

Morgan smirks. “Well…”

"I don’t want to know what your kinky internet friends think. I want facts."

She rolls her eyes. 

"No."

Eggsy gestured at the screen. “But it looks like it. Doesn’t it? Taron’s all over Colin like white on rice.”

"Rice comes in other…"

"You know what I mean." Eggsy waves helplessly at the screen again.

Morgan shrugs. “I think you’re trying to hard.”

"I don’t - what even is that - ship it. I just think they’re shagging. Look! Taron’s practically sitting in Colin’s lap."

Morgan glances over before returning to her tablet. “You did that to Harry yesterday.”

"That’s different."

"You were almost giving him a lap dance Eggs. I saw it. Merlin saw it. Tristan - even innocent Tristan - saw it."

Morgan glares. “Tristan isn’t an innocent. He’s a right dirty bastard and you know it.”

Morgan waves her hand. “Right. I always forget the orgy in the staff room.”

"It’s different."

She scoffs. “It’s not like you two are actually sleeping together.”

"…"

She turns on him, dropping the tablet with a clatter. “You fucking didn’t.”

Eggsy winces as the flood gates open.

Except she’s remarkably quiet about the whole thing.

She claps a hand on his shoulder, almost pushing him out of his chair the bloody strong-woman midget. “Brilliant job, Eggs. Top rate piece of ass.”

He shoots her a withering look.

"What? He is a total DILF."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hello](http://himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com/post/112297143132/kingsmanposts-can-taron-egerton-stop-fangirling)


	3. Blank Space Ft. Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kingsmanposts:
> 
> eggsy: you’re the king baby im yOUR PRINCE  
> harry: eggsy, you need to focu—  
> eggsy: find oUT what yOU WANT  
> harry: eggsy stop—  
> eggsy: be that sPY for a month  
> harry: oh god  
> eggsy: but the worst is yet to come  
> harry: oh no

"Nice to see you. Where you been?"

Harry walks into what Merlin has now dubbed “Camlan”, or the Kingsman breakroom renovated to be low lying pit with tables and chairs on an elevated level and a new Keurig so no one gets maimed when they accidentally use Morgan’s.imported roast.

God damn her and her roast.

"I could show you incredible things: magic, madness, heaven, sin."

Harry turns because no, no singing. 

It turns out Isolde is quietly just muttering along with the music playing in her headphones. 

Lovely.

"Saw you there and I thought, oh my god. Look at that face, you look like my next mistake." 

Eggsy strolls in and Harry regrets everything.

Isolde, precious Isolde, just keeps muttering. 

"Love’s a game, wanna play?"

"New money, suit and tie. I can read you like a magazine." Eggsy’s voice is enough to startle Isolde into pulling out her ear buds.

"Ain’t it funny rumors fly. And I know you heard about me. So hey, let’s be friends. I’m dying to see how this one ends.Grab your passport and my hand."

Isolde unplugs her ear buds.  
  
"I could make the bad guys good for a weekend," Taylor croons.

Harry regrets everything.

=

"Cherry lips, crystal skies. I could show you incredible things. Stolen kisses, pretty lies." Isolde actually has had singing training, Harry knows. Her voice is still startling clear because no, please no, not her too.

Eggsy gives him his best shit eating grin. “You’re the king baby I’m your prince. Find out what you want. Be that boy for a month.”

He jumps on an actual table. “But the worst is yet to come!”

Harry rubs the bridge of his nose. “Oh no”

Tristan is immediately standing on a chair. “Screaming, crying, perfect storms. I could make all the tables turn.”

"Rose garden filled with thorns." Gwaine chimes in. "Keep you second guessing like…"

Lancelot joins in, face passive, voice active. “Oh my god. Who is she? I get drunk on jealousy. But you’ll come back each time you leave.”

Eggsy jumps down from the table. 

"Cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

"So it’s gonna be forever? Or it’s gonna go down in flames?" Merlin belts in his best tenor."You can tell me when it’s over, if the high was worth the pain."

"Got a long list of ex-lovers. They’ll tell you I’m insane." Elyan, Leon, and who ever else is in their mad little pit of emotional singing use one of their retracted police batons as a makeshift microphone. "Cause you know I love the players and you love the game!"  
  
"Cause we’re young and we’re reckless! We’ll take this way too far and leave you breathless or with a nasty scar." Mordred is doing his best impression of Elton John, while banging on… when… how… there’s a piano…

"Got a long list of ex-lovers. They’ll tell you I’m insane,"Morgan purrs into Lancelot’s ear. Harry would feel mildly worried about that,  but Eggsy’s back in his space and has him cornered next to the coffee machine.

The kid has the gall to grin. “But I got a blank space baby and I’ll write your name.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hello](http://himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com/post/112298169052/kingsmanposts-eggsy-youre-the-king-baby-im-your)


	4. Grindr AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets Eggscalibur on Grindr and auditions.  
> for the people i met on chatzy

Harry glanced at the profile again.

A nice, taut body, something in the prime of life and thirty years old, maximum.

It was dirty, so dirty, but the kid had such blue eyes and such pretty lips and god what was that on his neck, a little mole?

Harry bit down the feeling and set his phone, screen side down, onto the table. Not now. He had things to do, like fill paperwork on

For a moment, his finger stuttered over the screen and the light turned green as the screen slid off to the side to reveal a chat option.

Oh god.

The chat bubble on the other end popped up and started doing the little pulsing wave of “wait a minute, sir, there’s a lovely gentleman on the other end of the line and if you back out now, he will be disappointed.”

The bubble stopped pulsing.

Eggscalibur: Hi

Harry stared at the screen, a little abject horror filling him as he looked on.

_Lionhart: Hi._

_Eggscalibur: I like your profile picture._

Harry barely recalled what he put as his picture, wait… it was his dog. It was Mr. Pickles. Oh, god.

_Lionhart: He’s a very sweet dog._

_Eggscalibur: I love dogs. My pug is my best friend._

_Lionhart: pug?_

_Eggscalibur: [photo]_

_Eggscalibur: His name is JB._

_Lionhart: James Bond?_

_Eggscalibur: Jack Bauer_

_Lionhart: You watch 24?_

_Eggscalibur: Best show on the tele._

Harry breathed. Okay. He could do this. He could totally do this.

_Lionhart: You description is very interesting._

_Eggscalibur: Hm?_

_Eggscalibur: Oh, yeah, I never bothered to change it._

_Lionhart: Are you no longer interested in a top?_

_Eggscalibur: Still interested. Are you?_

_Lionhart: I’m far from perfect._

_Eggscalibur: That’s for me to decide, isn’t it?_

Wait…Harry frowned at his phone. Oh, so Eggscalibur was going to play it like that.

“Harry Arthur Hart, where are the measurements for the Chancellor’s order?”

Harry picked up the file as Merlin pushed into the room. Honestly, it was a miracle the door wasn’t broken already.

“Right here.”

Merlin grabbed the file, peered into it, and made an almost inhuman noise of pain.

“God damn it.”

Roxy popped her head in from the door way. A smile curled onto her lips. “I take it you owe me fifty quid?”

Merlin grumbled, tossing the money at her. “Fifty-four and a half centimeters exactly.”

Roxy grinned, counting the bills in the wad.

Harry raised a brow while taking his feet off his desk. “Are you two betting on measurements?”

Roxy’s lip quirked a little before settling back in place. “No, sir.”

“Good, because I believe you owe me twenty quid for Prince Harry’s order.”

She forked over the bills. Harry pocketed the money, a small smirk passing over his face.

Merlin frowned. “I’m pretty sure that is an abuse of client-tailor privilege.”

Roxy shrugged. “He gave me his number. Not my fault my sister called him instead.”

“Get on. You both have suits to make.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, taking the folder with him as he left. “Aye.”

_Eggscalibur: Interested in an audition?_

_Lionhart: How about [address] at five? This Friday?_

* * *

_Eggscalibur: No. Thanks._

* * *

Harry walked up to the room with a little pep in his step.  He checked his phone one last time to be sure.

They had chatted a bit more then, and a few days later, he’d managed a catch.

_Lionhart: How about you arrange the meet? My treat._

_Eggscalibur: How are you so sure you can afford my tastes?_

_Lionhart: I have an unused gold card. Try me._

_Eggscalibur: [address]. 7 pm. Next Friday. Come hungry._

Harry had gone through the next week and a half in a state of utter bliss. Eggscalibur, Eggsy, was funny and sweet and earnest in a way that Harry hadn’t seen on even Roxy, who was the most earnest person he knew. He loved his dog and his mum and hated asparagus and his stepfather. He stole a car in the meanwhile, snapping a photo of himself in it and Harry had secretly bailed him out.

He’d caught a glance of Eggsy as the man left the police station and had been pleasantly charmed to find that even in the worst fashion sense ever seen, the man looked amazing.

Harry knocked on the door to the room and waited.

The door opened and Eggsy smiled at him. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Harry took in Eggsy’s slouch and his low hanging jeans. Christ. How had he managed to get up here? Security would have stopped him for looking like a… oh.

Eggsy looked him up and down. “You’re rather posh.”

Harry glanced down at his suit. It was one of the nicer ones because the address required that. He wasn’t quite sure if it was the gold cufflinks or the tie. It was probably the tie. God damn the red stripes. They probably made him look bloody military or something. “Is that a problem?”

“Nah.” Eggsy grinned, stepping into the room and gesturing for Harry to enter as well. “My own bit o’ fancy.”

Harry smirked, stepping into the room.

It was gilded, very nice, but Harry knew his card could take the hit.

Steak and all the dressings for steak sat on a cart in the middle of the room’s dining area. Neither tray was uncovered and small candles sat in the middle of the table.

“Romantic dinner. Very Pretty Woman, isn’t it?”

Eggsy furrowed his brows, thinking.

Oh, god. Harry stared for a moment. Really? Really? “Trading Places? Nikita?”

Eggsy frowned. “Like My Fair Lady?”

Harry blinked. “Yes.”

Eggsy grinned and Harry was so screwed.

* * *

“Did I pass?”

“Hm?”

“The audition?”

Eggsy turned over, rolling to face Harry and kissed him.

“Flying colors.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lionhartwin and himitsutsubasa on tumblr


	5. Never was a Kid - Hartwin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [fill](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/post/114443840391/kingsmanhartwin-ok-ok-but-imagine-harry-trying-to)
> 
>  
> 
> kingsmanhartwin:  
> OK OK BUT IMAGINE HARRY TRYING TO STAY AWAY FROM EGGSY BECAUSE HE FEELS HE’S TOO OLD. AND HERE EGGSY FINALLY CONFRONTS HIM

 

"Eggsy."

The young man swung around, eyes narrowed.

"No, Harry. You don’t get it. I have been through fucking hell. My dad never came home. He promised me that he would come home and he didn’t. You promised me you would come home and you almost didn’t."

Harry breathed slowly. “Eggsy.”

Eggsy’s face fixed into a scowl. “You don’t get to ‘Eggsy’ me right now. My mum drank for years. She drank and drank and drank. She never went to any of my competitions. I took the tube there myself.”

"Eg—" The young man shoved his hand away.

"I was seven. I was kidnapped once. I got away and came home a day later and she didn’t notice. I left as soon as I could and that was my mistake too. My mom might not be the best woman in the world, but once she was sober, she got her act together. Dean was a fucking asshole. He came in and tore it all apart. She didn’t want another baby because she couldn’t do that to another child. Harry, he threatened her and I was too far away to do anything about it."

"I.." God. Eggsy. He was the one thing in Harry’s life that was worth fighting for. He was worth more than the whole bloody lot of Kingsman. He was the sun, the stars, his land and sea. His spot of rough, his cup of cream. Eggsy was worth losing control over. Worth every last strand of restraint he would break.

"Don’t tell me I’m not old enough, Harry. I’m tired. I don’t want to go to clubs and drink and dance. I want to read the paper with you and nap with you. I want security and contentment and those big words you keep saying that I don’t understand but sound amazing. "

"Eggsy." He wasn’t a child. He wasn’t the child Harry knew and promised to save. He was perfect and willing and too good.

"Harry."

Harry placed his hands on Eggsy’s cheeks.   
The man was worth more that anything.

"I think I understand."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am [lionhartwin](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/), [himitsutsubasa](http://himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com/) and [deathoflilies](http://deathoflilies.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


	6. That's for getting my da killed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never was a hero.
> 
> monstrousmurders:  
> an au tho where eggsy actually works for valentine

"Eggsy!"

Harry swings around the corner, gun drawn.

Nothing.

He checks behind the door. Nothing.

God damn it. He lowers the gun a little.

Merlin buzzes in his ear. “The data said he was here. I swear. It was from that subdermal tracker.”

Harry advanced across the room and flicked the curtains. Bloody ugly pattern. Too bad there weren’t bloody ugly goons behind them.

"Any chance they dug it out?"

Merlin hummed, “No. It shuts down if they do.”

"Brother’s?" Harry asks.

"He always knew biology better than I did."

Harry hummed noncommittally. Bloody well had to be if he was keeping with the likes of James Bond.

"You’re absolutely sure he’s in the house?" Harry asked.

"I can personally guarantee he’s in the house."

Harry spins, but not before a jolt of electricity rips up his side and his gun goes flying from the force of a kick.

"I’m sorry it had to be this way, Harry, but the boss wanted to move up d-day."

Eggsy grins down at him, wry and dry as Harry struggles to keep his eyes open.

Fingers gently remove his glasses and they crack under steel bottomed loafers.

Eggsy rubs a thumb over his cheek, striking his cheek bone almost lovingly.

"This is for getting my da killed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am [lionhartwin](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/) and himitsutsubasa on tumblr


	7. Nokias are Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kingsmanposts:  
> eggsy calls harry’s phone every night after that day, expecting him to answer

And one day, there’s a click and he thinks it’s a sick joke.

Hart is head. The man is fucking dead and has been dead for seven months.

Eggsy throws the phone across the room, the Nokia-strong technology cracking his wall.

Hart is dead and he took Eggsy’s heart with him.

"Eggsy. I’m so sorry. I just got back."

BEEP.

"You need to come into the office. The people who had me…"

BEEP.

"Eggsy, come in. Please. They might be after you. Please. Listen."

BEEP.

"I love you."

Eggsy picks himself up off his floor and dons his gold jacket. 

Fuck Harry Hart

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am [lionhartwin> and himitustsubasa on tumblr](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/)


	8. High on Our Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [prompt](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/post/114716700756/okay-i-know-you-get-a-ton-of-headcanons-sent)
> 
> Anonymous: Okay, I know you get a ton of headcanons sent you're way but think of this. You've seen the video with the dude who's high on meds after his operation and he doesn't recognize his wife but he thinks She the most beautiful thing he's ever seen? Now think of Eggsy on the good stuff after catching a knife to the thigh staring in absolute wonder at Harry who's sitting at his bedside. Tells him he's the most beautiful man he's ever seen. Merlin pulls out his phone and records the entire thing.
> 
> kingsmanhartwin: And Harry blushes profoundly but doesn’t stop Eggsy, because fuck it, his husband is too adorable for him to burst the bubble
> 
> Okay, I need to stop stealing other people's toys.

Harry can’t stop Roxy from pulling out her cell phone. God...

Eggsy just continues grinning from ear to ear like nothing else in the world matters but Harry. “God, you are so fucking hot, bruv.”

“Ah...” Merlin is determinedly staring at a wall, but his shoulders are shaking and Harry is going to murder that traitor. Traitor.

“You’re soooo beautiful.” Eggsy stares at the ceiling for a moment. “Sooooo beautiful. More beautiful than her.” He vaguely gestures to Roxy. “And is the most beautiful woman I have eeeeeeeeeeeeever seeeeen.”

Roxy giggles. “That’s very sweet of you.”

Eggsy turns to him, a smile like sunshine on his face. “Are you single?”

“Sadly, no. I’m married.” Harry flashes the gold band and Eggsy’s face drops.

“What? Of course you’re taken.” He looks like a forlorn puppy and Harry wishes otherwise, but if he was married to anyone than who he was currently married to, he would walk up there right now and kiss that look off his face.

“I’m married to you.”

“Me?” Eggsy’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “Oh my god. I married a model. Look at him. Fucking model and all mine.” 

Isolde chooses that moment to show up the with the paperwork to get Eggsy released from medical and Harry breathes a sigh of relief.

As Harry leaves Eggsy’s room, he hears a litany of “So hot.” and “Damn.” and “Dat ass is mine.” as he walks out.


	9. Cell Block Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super quick thing because I have never seen Chicago and likely never will.  
> [idk](http://himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com/post/114990540132/bulletproof-gentleman-cell-block-tango)

“Now, Mr. Unwin— Eggsy— the media is trying to peg you for your husband’s murder—”

Harry Hart, attorney to the murderers and criminals extraordinaire,  folded his hat in his hands.

“I’m sorry to say, son, that this is going to be a tough case.”

Eggsy gripped the edge of the table, staring down at his hands.

“Swear to ya, Mr. Hart, I didn’t do it. I came home and he’s dead on the bed— I’m still in sucha state of shock, y’see. You’re my lawyer, yeah? Gonna get me off the hook?”

The man gave Eggsy a once over before sighing deeply.

“I’ll try.”

* * *

The woman, dark haired and gorgeous, led Eggsy down the rows.

“You see… a few years ago we went through this-a thing called pri-va-ti-sa-tion. Things got messy in here.”

Eggsy winces as he glanced into the cells. Oh, god. “How messy?”

“We have six famous murderers on the same row.” The woman smirked. “And now the six merry murderers of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'”

A bell rang and the six stepped forward.

Eggsy paled.

“Pop!” Charlie Hesketh.

“Six!” Digby Durst.

“Squish!” Rufus Cutmore.

“Uh uh.” Tilde Svete.

“Cicero.” Amelia Fenstermacher

“Lipschitz!” Hugo Prior.

Oh god. Eggsy stared. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

The murderers smirked, stepping out of their cells.

“He had it coming, he had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it. I betcha you would have done the same.”

“You pop that gum one more time.” Murdered his wife and three children.

“Single my ass.” Murdered his husband, and all his wives, with arsenic.

“Ten times.” Murdered his husband.

“Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe.” Murdered her much older husband.

“Number seventeen, the spread eagle.” Murdered her sister and her husband.

“Artistic differences.” Murdered his artist boyfriend.

A slow clack of heels made Eggsy turn and he stared into the brilliant brown eyes of one woman he would never forget.

“I betcha you would have done the same.”

Roxanne “Roxy” Hart smirked, taking a puff from her cigarette.

“Daddy, sent me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I am lionhartwin.tumblr.com and himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com


	10. A Q by Any Other Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family for Family.
> 
> [raindropstoashes:](http://raindropstoashes.tumblr.com/post/111562033984/one-does-not-use-merlins-cup-without-permission)  
> One does not use Merlin’s cup without permission.

 

"Sorry, brother, but you left it in my apartment." Q puts the mug down. "Ergo, the mug is mine."

Merlin glares at the little twit for a moment and they just keep staring and staring until finally…

"Fine. Tell your bloody agent to stop breathing down my neck."

Q rolls his eyes. “James. Down boy.”

"I’m not a dog."

"Come here."

007 glares at Merlin one last time before striding over to Q and planting himself behind him.

"He’s well trained."

Q’s grin turns wry. “I can’t the same about your agents. An untested Galahad was almost killed? plethora of impromptu appointments because your people are dead?”

"I fucking hate Tuesdays."

"Ah. Have you given any thought to recruiting from the other branches?" Q pressed his mug into 007’s hands and shooed him off. The man looked affronted until Q kissed his cheek and whispered something into his ear.

Merlin didn’t want to know about his baby brother’s sex life. Ever.

"I’m thinking about pulling a lot from their recruitment rolls."

Q grinned, passing the pile of papers. “Good. I have a few Zodiac appointments that I would take for my own if I could.”

"Why can’t you?"

"Born and raised not in the UK. I can’t hire that."

Merlin nodded. Of course. Of course. “This one seems promising. Trained in undercover work and very good stats.”

Q nodded, turning back to his screen. “Ah yes. Yang is agender and amazingly poised. Makes assigning missions so much easier.”

The others were very good. His particular favorite was a Latin American set of twins, Dolores and Marcos, capable and graceful.

Merlin grinned, tucking the folders under his arm. “I think it’s time we saw some new faces in Kingsman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/post/114917916081/raindropstoashes-one-does-not-use-merlins-cup)


	11. Lee Unwin: The Nope Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Unwin may have a son, but he did not sign himself up for this bull shit. 
> 
> Also, the dog was right.

Lee has had to deal with bull shit. He's had the calico cat wig bull shit. The holding diamonds in his mouth under his tongue bull shit. The llama in a helicopter bull shit. The cross dressing dancer and sucker punching a U.S. justice bull shit.

In the past three months.

So much bull shit. What the fuck. Who actually has this on a regular basis?

 

Lee sighed.

Well, if there was one person who wouldn't bull shit him.

"Hey, Arthur..."

Lee stopped.

What.

The.

Fuck.

Harry.

Hart.

Harry sat back in his office chair, Eggsy in his lap, /petting/ Lee's son.

"Daddy?"

Lee almost answered, but Harry beat him to it.

"That's my good boy. Just like that."

Lee froze.

Nope.

Fuck. He was siding with JB in this one.

He tossed the folders on the desk.

"Father Unwin Out."


	12. Teamwork and other jokes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by [dickiebirds](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/post/115172434246/dickiebirds-i-can-imagine-merlin-and)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The prompt:   
> I can imagine Merlin and Harry-as-Arthur watching footage of Eggsy fighting and realising that whenever Eggsy fights, he’s always instinctively covering for an invisible someone — he lets punches and jabs and knives hit him instead of letting it pass him, as if he thinks there’s someone behind him he needs to protect.
> 
> I can imagine Merlin and Harry-as-Arthur realising WHY this happens, and going quiet and sad for a few moments, before Merlin calls up both Lancelot and Eggsy and starts training them as a team, explaining that Kingsman is an organisation of loners, and that’s worked towards our disadvantage before — training you both as a unit is an attempt at beginning to erase that disadvantage and explains that Roxy and Eggsy show a certain aptitude towards teamwork that other members don’t have, and carefully doesn’t mention why this is the case for Eggsy, doesn’t mention the fact that Roxy’s hair looks blonde in certain lights, and how that always spurs Eggsy to action particularly fast
> 
> And Eggsy, as is his prerogative, uses the times he was weak and helpless in order to make him stronger than ever, to help him protect his family and his country and his friends and the world. Because he’ll never forget what it feels like to be weak, to be weak and still want to protect, and that makes being strong and able to protect the best thing he’s ever been able to do

“He’s not a loner.” Merlin tosses the clipboard aside. “He’s not and that’s what’s going to get him killed. He’s going to cover for people and it won’t be a clean death because whatever gets through him will get to whoever he’s protecting too.”

“Merlin.”  
  
“Arthur.” The man shakes his head. “I don’t like this.”  
  
Harry shakes his head. “He’s Galahad now.”  
  
Percival, no Richard, spins in his chair and sighs. “Have either of you given any thought to my proposal?”  
  
Harry and Merlin glance at each other before sighing in unison.   
  
“We have.” Merlin picks up his pen. “It’s against the Kingsman way.”  
  
“She is not your usual kingsman.”  
  
“She is your daughter.”  
  
Percival rolls his eyes. “Not even that. Roxy’s always played better with others than any of us have. She’s wired that way, society’s unintended gift.”  
  
“So you’re saying….”  
  
“I don’t necessarily like the Unwin boy, especially since his father proved to be… less than spectacular in battle.”  
  
Merlin’s shoulders stiffen. “Lancelot.”  
  
“Merlin, I know how you felt about Lee Unwin. Do not deny that you have a weakness for the boy.” Percival turns to Harry. “Arthur, I know how you feel about Galahad. I haven’t told anyone, but it is a matter of time until something slips from any one of us.”  
  
Percival glances around the room. The holograms are dead now. They haven’t used them since the last Arthur, preferring to see their agents in the flesh, untainted by chips buried under their skin.  
  
“I don’t like the idea of… putting all our eggs in one basket, especially when we are all senior agents.” He paused. “However, with the two of them together, the chances of one of them getting killed is minimized.”  
  
Harry sniffed. “That is conjecture.”  
  
“That is fact.” Percival tapped the paperwork. “Fewer hits on both of them combined when they work together than on one individual when they are apart. Tell me how that means we have to worry more.”  
  
Harry folds his hands and breathes slowly.  
  
“I suppose we have to.”  
  
Merlin’s pen tapping stops. “Arthur.”  
  
“Merlin, I’ve thought about it for a while and I now that I hear it from Percival’s mouth, I have to agree.”  
  
Merlin’s brows draw in. “I don’t like it.”  
  
“You don’t have to like it.” Harry stands and turns to Richard. “Your daughter better take care of Eggsy.”  
  
Richard nods. “She will.”  
  
“I’m going to tell them. Find a mission. Work out the logistics. I want to see them in action as an official team soon.”  
  
Merlin nodded. “Yes, sir.”  
  
The door just clicked shut when Merlin spoke. “This is about getting him killed isn’t it?”  
  
Richard shook his head. “No, Zachary, I always thought he would do that on his own and none of us would be able to help him.”  
  
“Then why?”  
  
“Because you let her into the program.”  
  
“She was the best.”  
  
“She was never meant to get a letter. She was meant to be MI6. She was mean to have a team backing her up at all times. Not one man who is too busy paying attention to his lost lover’s son to notice a sniper on the roof, taking out people who want to kill his daughter.”  
  
Merlin swallows. “Rick.”  
  
“Don’t ‘Rick’ me, Zach.” Richard shook his head. “You promised me you would take care of her.”  
  
“I did.”  
  
Richard stood.   
  
“No, I trust the Unwin boy to do that.Take care of them both, or it will be your loss.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [harttwin](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/post/117557456431/harttwin-ok-a-most-realistic-scenario-harry): ok, a most realistic scenario, Harry having Eggsy on his knees before him, tapping his chin with the gun and murmuring “open up” that is followed by Eggsy immediately parting his lips, eyes locked on Harry’s as he slips the (unloaded, i am not crazy) gun into his mouth, as far as he can take it, smirking down at him as he says “good boy, now suck”

Eggsy gags on the barrel, tears streaming down his cheeks and drool dripping from his chin, until Harry pulls the gun back with a sharp pop.

He grins at Eggsy, running a hand over the boy’s head as Eggsy breathes, trying to keep the boy still.

When Eggsy is calmer, eyes half lidded and dark, Harry lets him crawl closer, crawl on his knees until his hot breath just ghosts over Harry’s pants.

“Stay.”

Eggsy looks up, lips twisted into something like a challenge.

“Good boy.”

Eggsy proceeds to unzip Harry’s pants with his teeth. That’s all Harty can think for a while.


	14. Love, Seriously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [aalieb18](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/post/118243988361/allieb18-all-i-need-in-life-is-a-love-acually) asked for a love actually au. I made an au of an au that turned into canon-ish.
> 
> Basically an AU, where Harry is put on forced leave and Eggsy, rather than being picked up by Harry, is picked up be Merlin after screwing up badly enough in London to warrant his leaving the country entirely. 
> 
> Eggsy ends up in Spain – his Spanish was quite good in school – in a nice house until things die down in England and he can return. Harry, meanwhile, gets shot on a mission and has to recover. 
> 
> What better way, Merlin thinks, than sending him off where he can’t cause trouble. If that gives Eggsy, who has been complaining of boredom, something to do, all the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck. I don’t know how to to accents on this computer. Spanish mac users help me.

 

  
“Do you speak English?”  
  
The boy stares at him for a moment. “Lo siento, senor. No entiendolo.” (I’m sorry, mister. I don’t understand that.)  
  
Harry rubs his hands over his face. Alright. He’s… got this. He took latin in school. He can’t fail this. Merlin would laugh his ass off.  
  
“Um… Unwin, me… me.. lamo Harry Hart. es bueno para a… a… saber a tu.” ([badly] I am called Harry Hart. It is good to know you.)  
  
The boy’s face flushes and he shakes his head. “I.. pues.. I speak… poco ingles” (I… well… I speak… little English.)  
  
“Oh, thank god.” Harry sighs, slumping in his chair. Thank god. He wasn’t suck in rural Spain with absolutely no help.  
  
The boy nodded. “Need help with…” he waved at the bags.  
  
“Yes… Si, senor Unwin.” (Yes, Mr. Unwin.)  
  
“Me llamo Eggsy, senor. Pueda usar la forma de tu cuando habla conmigo.” (I am called Eggsy, mister. You can use the informal form of “you” when you’re speaking to me.)  
  
Eggsy… Eggsy Unwin…  
  
“Britanico?” (British?)  
  
“Si, senor. Mi familia es de Inglaterra, pero naci in Espana. Mi padre hablo en ingles conmigo cuando era nino. Ahora, no.” He rambled on, taking Harry’s luggage and carrying it inside. (Yes, mister. My family is from England, but I was born in Spain. My father spoke in English to me when I was little. Not anymore)  
  
Harry stopped and stared as the kid spoke a book a minute, never pausing for a breath.   
  
What. The. Fuck.   
  
Eggsy made no move to slow down for him, still going. Still going.  
  
He would get back at Merlin for this “extended leave”. He would do it if he had to swim across the English channel.

* * *

  
Eggsy laughed. Oh, god. Hart actually thought he didn’t speak English.  
  
This was going to be the best summer job ever.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am always open to filling things so feel free to send me things. I might only have a few lines for you. I'm sorry. Also, I am [lionhartwin](http://lionhartwin.tumblr.com/)(kingsman), [deathoflilies](http://deathoflilies.tumblr.com/)(teen wolf) and [](http://himitsutsubasa.tumblr.com/>himitsutsubasa</a>\(general\)%20on%20tumblr.)


End file.
